Mom guilt is a phenomenon to me. It's another one of those "jewels" that just seem to appear when you become a mom. Mine was instant. I felt like no one else was responsible for taking care of my daughter but me. I wasn't nervous about anyone else taking care of her, I just felt guilty. In fact, I have learned that if I ever do have another baby, I will ask - no demand - help as soon as possible, and not feel guilty about it! I just felt as if Carson was a choice that I made, and she is my responsibility. I still feel this way at times, and that makes everything more difficult.
Another form of mom guilt comes when you just let your baby cry. Hey, it happens. I even read on a website how parents were confessing to certain things, and one mom said, "Sometimes, when the baby is crying in the crib, we close the door, each get a glass of wine, and go on the porch." I instantly fell in love with this woman. Thank GOD it's not only me!
In fact, moms unite when it comes to mom guilt. Me, being the realist, has no problem confessing to leaving my kid in front of the TV for an hour or so. Yet, I have found that a lot of moms don't admit their mom guilt behaviors unless another mom confesses first. Well, mommies, I'm here to tell you - I am NOT anywhere near a perfect mom, but I work my butt off, so if Yo Gabba Gabba keeps my kid quiet for 23 minutes SO BE IT! I'll cherish those 23 minutes, and get on with my life. Something else I'm not letting myself feel guilty for: I'm sending my kid to daycare for the summer. Hell, I'm paying for it! I'm taking that little chick every chance I get! Even if I come home and watch Bravo for 8 hours, I'll be relaxed, therefore, being a better mom, wife, and generally happier person. Trust me, if mom isn't happy - NO ONE is happy. Ask my husband.
I'm still working on my mom guilt. I feel it will be a lifelong battle. Right when I feel I've made a breakthrough, it creeps in and rears its ugly head. I just try to tell myself that no one is perfect, and hopefully Carson won't remember the first two years of her life...here's hoping! (I'm kidding!)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Dog Days
Poor Sadie definitely got the back burner when I first brought Carson home. In fact, I left her at my father-in-law's house for almost two weeks from when I came home from the hospital. I was in such a daze, I probably would've forgotten about Sadie, but my father-in-law has a male dog, and Sadie went into heat, and had to come home. Once I had a dramatic meltdown on the phone with my husband, crying, "I can't handle two in diapers!", we had her fixed. Phew.
Anyways, I had prepped "the meeting" between Sadie and Carson for months prior to Carson's arrival. Our childbirth class teacher mentioned bringing little items the baby had worn home from the hospital so Sadie would get used to the scent. She followed that up with the helpful tip to not bring home anything with blood home, or the dog may become aggressive. Thanks, lady. Real re-assuring. Well, to say the least, in our generous 48-hour stay at the hospital, we just didn't have time to bring home the various baby items to Sadie. Plus, I'm pretty sure I left Carson in the onesie the hospital put her in for the entire 48 hours. When I finally got the nerve to introduce Carson to Sadie, I swaddled Carson in a soft, pink blanket, and gently took her out to the back porch where Sadie was anxiously wondering why she instantly became an outside dog. I bent down slowly, and said "Sadie, meet your little sister Carson!" I held my breath... Sadie snorted on Carson as she sniffed, spraying her with dog snot; then, looked quickly at the back door, then me, pleading, "Can we PLEASE go inside now?" Ah, memories.
I can't blame Sadie for her lack of interest in Carson. Because of Carson, I'm pretty sure I only fed Sadie once a week instead of her usual twice a day, all walks came to a complete stop for months, and I considered it a good day if the toilet wasn't her water bowl.
Sadie has been a trooper throughout this adventure. She got up with me during EVERY (and I do mean every) feeding, no matter what time. She is my Hoover vacuum. In fact, I just let her in from the backyard so she and my mom's dog, Sophie, could tackle some chicken fingers and fries that littered the hardwood floors. Instantly clean - less than a minute! The same is true for Carson's high chair. That thing is spotless before I can even get Carson's bib off!
So, this is for you Sadie. You were there for me when everyone else was sleeping, or out of town. You always are forgiving, even when I take my frustrations out on you. You clean up messes, let Carson tug on your tail and ears, and never stopped loving us when we decided to give you a little sister without asking! One thing's for sure, Carson has fit right in when it comes to loving Sadie. They are without a doubt, BFF's.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
